As seen on The Grist
“There are only so many words and names that make sense with beer, so it’s not surprising that many people will come up with the same ideas,” Moon says.
A frequently recurring issue, she says, is different breweries thinking they’ve coined the same hop-centric puns and catchphrases for their beers. A quick Google search reveals multiple beers named “Hopscotch,” and at least three India Pale Ales with the name “Bitter End.”
Some larger breweries have been remarkably chill about settling disputes, like Colorado’s Avery Brewing Company and California’s Russian River Brewing Company who each blended their own “Salvation” beer into a single blend with a nod at the current craft beer war, “Collaboration Not Litigation.”
Other label disputes haven’t been so resolved so easily, though. As NPR reports, Lagunitas stopped using “420” on its labels after a cease-and-desist letter from Atlanta-based SweetWater Brewing Company claimed that the logo too closely resembled SweetWater’s 420 Extra Pale Ale — but not before Lagunitas’ owner, Tony Magee, took to Twitter, calling SweetWater’s co-founder Freddy Bensch “a dweeb” for not personally calling him about the issue.
So for the sake of beer lovers and breweries everywhere, we’ve come up with some new (hopefully), non-trademarked brews of our own to help you out:
- Combustib-Ale: Brewed with fracking wastewater. Potentially flammable. Cool bar trick!
- Keystone XL: Cuz Edward Fortyhands. And like, that whole pipeline thing.
- Natural Ice (Shortage): Melting glaciers, amirite??
- Cali Drought Draught: Empty glass, empty calories.
- Mountaintop Remov-Ale: Slurp that creamy head right off.
- India Kale Ale (IKA): We had to. Don’t hate us.
- Old Grist: Brewed before gluten-free was a thing.
- Teff-eweizen: Sorry y’all, but climate change is not doing global wheat yields any favors.
- Ignorant Hipster Ale (IHA): Brewed with almonds, of course.
- Off Saison: Get it while it’s (not too) hot.
- Plastiktoberfest: Plastic microfibers all up in this German beer. Very nuanced flavor notes.
- Climate Deni-Ale: Before the climate change apocalypse hits, stock your bunkers with this frothy brew. Talk about beer tears.